Middle Age is when products with a Lifetime Guarantee start to wear out...

Like feet.

Went to a podiatrist for the first time in my life with a sore spot in the middle ball of my left foot.

Diagnosis: I'm an old fart and things are starting to fall apart!

Sidenote: I amused the doctor's assistants to no end taking cameraphone shots of my x-rays.

Nothing pathologically wrong, just a general thinning of the allowed my 2nd metatarsal to get bruised. Now I have to make surepadding there I've got extra padding (yup, I'm Gellin')... I'm one step (literally) away from orthopedics.

Meh!